To publish an essay is to unburden oneself

I have a pocket full of ‘thought rags’, scraps of thoughts, which are usually half-formed opinions or the starting point of a real insight or just an observation, and are of no use if I just take them out and lay them on the table, and there are so many now that my pocket is on the verge of exploding, which worries me since I very much like my shirt, and the reason it is this full is that I want to be a ‘thought magician’, it’s my dream and what I believe I’m most suited for, and a thought magician doesn’t take out disconnected scraps from their pocket, they take out an infinite scarf that keeps on coming, which is such joy to watch, every inch a new colour, scraps tied together in harmony, and every time the audience thinks it’s over, the magician pulls out more from seemingly nowhere, and the audience goes whatttt, so I have been keeping every scrap in, waiting for them to become the scarf, but I cannot be hoping to sew an infinite scarf inside the pocket while never practising pulling it out, and pulling starts with taking out a single scrap, so I publish an essay every day, today is my fifth, and every scrap I take out leaves the pocket a little lighter and my hand a little better at pulling.